Have you ever been kicked square in the balls and realized it was exactly what you needed? Welcome to my life the past week. It’s been a deliberate, direct kick in the ol’ beanbag.
I had a conversation with my sister Brooke a couple of months ago about circumcision. It’s a weird thing. Not the act itself, but the result. I don’t know a lot about it. Suffice it to say that I am and if you’re not then I think you are weird. This conversation turned spiritual oddly enough and I brought up the scripture that talks about ‘O Ye uncircumcised of heart…’ What does that mean? I was determined to find out and give an awkward talk in church about it one day.
I haven’t thought about it at all until this very moment…must have been all this talk about balls getting kicked. Think about it.
Where was I going with all of this? Ah yes, a swift kick to the groin being the figurative reboot or jump start in life.
Thursday, I didn’t renew my lease at my apartment because I wanted to buy a house. So in 2 months I have no place to live.
Friday, I almost got fired. It was very traumatic and deserved and thankfully avoided. I won’t go into it anymore than this; I had not been focused at work and it was showing. I have a smart couple of bosses and I respect and admire them. I thank them for my rebuke and new motivation.
Add to the unemployment scare my current relationship that spans 1,500 miles and weeks between visits. Add to that a deep attachment and longing to be with her. Add in constant thoughts of her, wishing, hoping she is feeling something similar. Praying that she will do something to show you she cares. Then waiting days to hear from her. Thinking it was only supposed to be hours. The insecurities creep in, the fear that I may have said too much and scared her off, the wondering why she won’t call, won’t text, wondering constantly, waiting. Doubting everything. Even though you will see her in 3 days and the last conversation I had with her was totally satisfying and confidence building.
Then you here from her and she didn’t call because she’s been overwhelmed with life’s burdens and now sick and vomiting. How do you feel now Caleb? You’d been blaming her for not calling and causing you to wonder. As if she were doing this deliberately to freak you out. Not so. You were being selfish. And when I got the news I wanted to cry. How could I doubt? Why did I resort to that? Where is your confidence boy?
Foot: Foot to scrotum come in.
Scrotum: This is scrotum please advise.
Foot: I am making my approach; requesting fly by.
Scrotum: Negative Ghost Rider the pattern is full.
Foot: I’ll show you full!
Scrotum: huh?
*BAM!*
Scrotum: AW, DUDE…NO WAY!!!!!
Welcome home soldier.
Thank you Sir, it’s good to be back.
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Monday, November 20, 2006
New Poems...not sad ones either!
This is a poem that I wrote recently about how I feel. It is called Closer than I am. It is a pretty good poem. Its not sad like a lot of my other poems. It is sad in a sense because it talks about how hard the distance can be when there is someone you care about.
The second poem is called Willingly. It is about how a selfish person's life changes when the right person comes into it. I like it.
Life is still hard sometimes but there are the moments that make it totally worth it. It is the little things that make a difference. A text message, a phone call, a subtle touch, a look. They make the big things smaller. Check out them poems and let me know whatcha think!
The second poem is called Willingly. It is about how a selfish person's life changes when the right person comes into it. I like it.
Life is still hard sometimes but there are the moments that make it totally worth it. It is the little things that make a difference. A text message, a phone call, a subtle touch, a look. They make the big things smaller. Check out them poems and let me know whatcha think!
Sunday, November 05, 2006
I have been lazy. yawn...
Hello my friends. I feel sad that some of you regularly visit my blog to see what is new happening in my life and when you come you have nothing to read. I should do better but I just don’t make the time to do it. So for that I apologize.
Since my last post 2 MONTHS AGO…dang, so much had happened. I met a girl. Actually that is about it. And you won’t hear me complain about it.
I didn’t really meet her I’ve known her for quite some time. To make a long story short…I knew her at school and now we have been seeing more of each other. She lives in Portland so its not the easiest thing to do…or the cheapest, but it has been worth it. I don’t know what is supposed to happen or what is going to happen but we are enjoying finding out. I’ve been up to Portland and she came to California when I was back visiting home. Both trips have been fantastic. I can enough good things about her. I’m headed back out there this weekend and then she’s scheduled to come to AZ in a couple of weeks. Her name is Nicole and she is beautiful…all the way to her guts.
Like I said, I went home for 5 days in October to get away. I had a great time. My sister Kara was there with her 2 kiddies. It’s always good to be with family. I love mine.
I don’t have anything deep to talk about at the moment. Tuesday is for voting. I don’t like politics. Sure I have said I was going to run for President but the state of politics to me is totally lame right now. Why can’t normal people run?
This Dashboard Confessional album, Dusk and Summer, is awesome. I can’t enough of it. It is always on. I thought I would get bored of it after listening to it 100 times but I haven’t. You should check it out.
I have written some new poems but I am still working on them before I publish them to the web. I’ll let you know when they pop.
Things are going well for me. The relationship thing can be challenging at times, the waiting, the wondering…but it is good for me. It is making me a better man. I’ll try to do a better job. It’s not you its’ me. J
Since my last post 2 MONTHS AGO…dang, so much had happened. I met a girl. Actually that is about it. And you won’t hear me complain about it.
I didn’t really meet her I’ve known her for quite some time. To make a long story short…I knew her at school and now we have been seeing more of each other. She lives in Portland so its not the easiest thing to do…or the cheapest, but it has been worth it. I don’t know what is supposed to happen or what is going to happen but we are enjoying finding out. I’ve been up to Portland and she came to California when I was back visiting home. Both trips have been fantastic. I can enough good things about her. I’m headed back out there this weekend and then she’s scheduled to come to AZ in a couple of weeks. Her name is Nicole and she is beautiful…all the way to her guts.
Like I said, I went home for 5 days in October to get away. I had a great time. My sister Kara was there with her 2 kiddies. It’s always good to be with family. I love mine.
I don’t have anything deep to talk about at the moment. Tuesday is for voting. I don’t like politics. Sure I have said I was going to run for President but the state of politics to me is totally lame right now. Why can’t normal people run?
This Dashboard Confessional album, Dusk and Summer, is awesome. I can’t enough of it. It is always on. I thought I would get bored of it after listening to it 100 times but I haven’t. You should check it out.
I have written some new poems but I am still working on them before I publish them to the web. I’ll let you know when they pop.
Things are going well for me. The relationship thing can be challenging at times, the waiting, the wondering…but it is good for me. It is making me a better man. I’ll try to do a better job. It’s not you its’ me. J
Thursday, September 14, 2006
To: The Baby Boomers From: X and Y
I recently got into a very short, peripheral conversation with my mom about how “my generation” needs to “do” something about what is going on in the world today. She wasn’t being negative or anything like that; she was simply wondering why people my age aren’t protesting what is happening in politics and world events. Basically implying that her generation made their statements in their era. Whether that was in the form of protesting against Vietnam, advancing the sexual revolution, and Woodstock types of celebrations. I guess that was how they dealt with the calamities of the world at the time.
I don’t think that there is anything wrong with what they did. That time in our country’s history was full of turmoil, ie. Civil rights, women’s liberation, abortion, Vietnam, political assassinations…it was a crazy time as I’m sure most of you are aware.
So back to the question, “Why doesn’t ‘My Generation’ (be it X or Y or what ever it is called) DO something about what is happening today? Why don’t we rally? Why don’t we raise our voices against what is happening? Why don’t we DO something?
I only have this as an answer: We don’t want to get involved.
It was our grandparents that created you, the “Baby Boomers.” They fought in The War and then replenished the world. They lived through the depression, mass poverty, World Wars. They were safe and conservative and scared. They built The Bomb. It was about protection…domination.
Your generation revolted against the “Golden Generation”, changed society, made life more “free.” ‘I’ll do what I want, when I want, how I want. It’s my body!’ You saw the lives your parents lived and decided that it wasn’t good enough for you. You wanted more of everything. Capitalism was your rocket ship; greed and avarice the potent fuel. Blast off!
You begat us and didn’t know what to do with us. So you called us “X” and “Y.” The fact that we were born was something of a miracle really. How could such a selfish, aspiring generation have time to raise a family? You didn’t.
A lot of you couldn’t do what your parents did and stay married, couldn’t commit and be devout. You wanted to be independent, so you either split up or you both worked. We grew up in broken homes; hearing you complain because you feel like you have to visit your parents or how inconvenienced you are that they are coming to stay with you for a few days. You put them in home so this wouldn’t happen! All the while we were growing up by ourselves…with 2 TVs and Nintendo.
We grew up watching TV programs you made for us. We were corrupted by the need to have a Cabbage Patch Kid; you made us into Super Models, Pop Icons, put us on MTV and sold us so you could make more money. TV shows aren’t made for our entertainment; they are made so you guys can sell advertising space. We grew up in a world full of capitalist aggression. More! Better! Stronger! Faster! NOW! We watched you build your corporate empires.
Now here we are…Generations X and Y…waiting, watching. What did you expect us to become? We didn’t have much to work with. We really just don’t want to get involved.
One day we will rise from obscurity and make a name for ourselves. No longer just an “X” to identify us.
I don’t think that there is anything wrong with what they did. That time in our country’s history was full of turmoil, ie. Civil rights, women’s liberation, abortion, Vietnam, political assassinations…it was a crazy time as I’m sure most of you are aware.
So back to the question, “Why doesn’t ‘My Generation’ (be it X or Y or what ever it is called) DO something about what is happening today? Why don’t we rally? Why don’t we raise our voices against what is happening? Why don’t we DO something?
I only have this as an answer: We don’t want to get involved.
It was our grandparents that created you, the “Baby Boomers.” They fought in The War and then replenished the world. They lived through the depression, mass poverty, World Wars. They were safe and conservative and scared. They built The Bomb. It was about protection…domination.
Your generation revolted against the “Golden Generation”, changed society, made life more “free.” ‘I’ll do what I want, when I want, how I want. It’s my body!’ You saw the lives your parents lived and decided that it wasn’t good enough for you. You wanted more of everything. Capitalism was your rocket ship; greed and avarice the potent fuel. Blast off!
You begat us and didn’t know what to do with us. So you called us “X” and “Y.” The fact that we were born was something of a miracle really. How could such a selfish, aspiring generation have time to raise a family? You didn’t.
A lot of you couldn’t do what your parents did and stay married, couldn’t commit and be devout. You wanted to be independent, so you either split up or you both worked. We grew up in broken homes; hearing you complain because you feel like you have to visit your parents or how inconvenienced you are that they are coming to stay with you for a few days. You put them in home so this wouldn’t happen! All the while we were growing up by ourselves…with 2 TVs and Nintendo.
We grew up watching TV programs you made for us. We were corrupted by the need to have a Cabbage Patch Kid; you made us into Super Models, Pop Icons, put us on MTV and sold us so you could make more money. TV shows aren’t made for our entertainment; they are made so you guys can sell advertising space. We grew up in a world full of capitalist aggression. More! Better! Stronger! Faster! NOW! We watched you build your corporate empires.
Now here we are…Generations X and Y…waiting, watching. What did you expect us to become? We didn’t have much to work with. We really just don’t want to get involved.
One day we will rise from obscurity and make a name for ourselves. No longer just an “X” to identify us.
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Racism Sitll Alive
The above article, which you should read first, talks about a bus driver in Louisiana that segregated the children. Black kids in the back and whites in the front. Not only that but she made the 9 black kids share only 2 benches between them. So there were safety issues involved.
My Thoughts:
As disturbing as this may be I want to point out that the back of the bus is the best place to be. When I was growing up in Massachusetts, I always sat near the back of the bus. It offered protection from authoritative eyes. My friends and I used to flip over the seats when the bus driver wasn't looking. I once flipped 26 times on the way to school. It may still be a record.
I want to look at this from from my 3rd grade eyeballs. If I (a white boy) was forced to sit at the front of the bus and the black kids in the back, I would have been pissed! Why do they get the good seats! Why should they get to sit in the back? That's not fair. The back is the best place to be! So from my point of view from 3rd grade eyes, I would be the one repressed and oppressed.
Don't get me wrong. I think what happened is wrong. People shouldn't be segregated for any reason. I'm not racist or a hater of any one type of person. All are entitled to the freedoms that we have in this country. All I am saying is that there are 2 sides to every penny. But let me get one thing clear...the fact that the black kids were in the back of the bus is not the issue. The fact that the kids were separated is the issue; that those kids' safety was jeopardized.
My Thoughts:
As disturbing as this may be I want to point out that the back of the bus is the best place to be. When I was growing up in Massachusetts, I always sat near the back of the bus. It offered protection from authoritative eyes. My friends and I used to flip over the seats when the bus driver wasn't looking. I once flipped 26 times on the way to school. It may still be a record.
I want to look at this from from my 3rd grade eyeballs. If I (a white boy) was forced to sit at the front of the bus and the black kids in the back, I would have been pissed! Why do they get the good seats! Why should they get to sit in the back? That's not fair. The back is the best place to be! So from my point of view from 3rd grade eyes, I would be the one repressed and oppressed.
Don't get me wrong. I think what happened is wrong. People shouldn't be segregated for any reason. I'm not racist or a hater of any one type of person. All are entitled to the freedoms that we have in this country. All I am saying is that there are 2 sides to every penny. But let me get one thing clear...the fact that the black kids were in the back of the bus is not the issue. The fact that the kids were separated is the issue; that those kids' safety was jeopardized.
Monday, August 21, 2006
Scribble Me This
I was going to go and poach the Sunday Scribbling from one of my sisters but none of them did it this week...and last week is so played out I can't even go there.
But since I have only written crap about how I couldn't get a relationship to work, I figured I owed my fans a little something. Ha Ha...fans. But don't think it is a mystery who visits. I have a little something called Google Analytics set up on this blog here that tracks your every movement. I know when, who, where, what server, what page you saw...all that stuff.
I am excited to see some family. I made a great escape to Utah 2 weeks ago to see my dad. It was a spur of the moment thing. He said he was going to be bored all weekend up there in Utah. So I ended up tracking down a ticket to the Real Madrid vs Real Salt Lake soccer match...2 tickets. And it worked out that with a free voucher on Southwest and a quick packing job allowed for a weekend in Utah. I booked the ticket at 630pm and my plane left at 830pm. Drop of a dime. It worked out because all I had planned was to go watch the traffic at one of my work's properties by the new Cardinals Football Stadium. So from traffic counts to golf and soccer. It was fun.
In September, I am going to visit Kara and her family. I had to go. When Ellie calls me and asks, "When you come see Tate? When you see Tate?" in that tiny little voice I couldn't really wait any longer. I am excited. Then In October I am finally going home. I haven't been to California in over 1.5 years. It isn't that I don't like going I just never have a really good reason. I see my parents pretty much everywhere else besides at there. I don't have many friends that live out there anymore. I guess I could go spend a couple of days in Carmel alone...it is a nice enough place that you can not feel bad about just sitting there alone. But Kara is heading out to Alamo and talked me into keeping her company. I didn't put up too big of a fight.
I consider myself a lucky guy. My family loves me. I love them. I have a job that I love (where I am writing this. hee hee!) I can't ask for too much more. Maybe a raise and a girlfriend...but that's it.
But since I have only written crap about how I couldn't get a relationship to work, I figured I owed my fans a little something. Ha Ha...fans. But don't think it is a mystery who visits. I have a little something called Google Analytics set up on this blog here that tracks your every movement. I know when, who, where, what server, what page you saw...all that stuff.
I am excited to see some family. I made a great escape to Utah 2 weeks ago to see my dad. It was a spur of the moment thing. He said he was going to be bored all weekend up there in Utah. So I ended up tracking down a ticket to the Real Madrid vs Real Salt Lake soccer match...2 tickets. And it worked out that with a free voucher on Southwest and a quick packing job allowed for a weekend in Utah. I booked the ticket at 630pm and my plane left at 830pm. Drop of a dime. It worked out because all I had planned was to go watch the traffic at one of my work's properties by the new Cardinals Football Stadium. So from traffic counts to golf and soccer. It was fun.
In September, I am going to visit Kara and her family. I had to go. When Ellie calls me and asks, "When you come see Tate? When you see Tate?" in that tiny little voice I couldn't really wait any longer. I am excited. Then In October I am finally going home. I haven't been to California in over 1.5 years. It isn't that I don't like going I just never have a really good reason. I see my parents pretty much everywhere else besides at there. I don't have many friends that live out there anymore. I guess I could go spend a couple of days in Carmel alone...it is a nice enough place that you can not feel bad about just sitting there alone. But Kara is heading out to Alamo and talked me into keeping her company. I didn't put up too big of a fight.
I consider myself a lucky guy. My family loves me. I love them. I have a job that I love (where I am writing this. hee hee!) I can't ask for too much more. Maybe a raise and a girlfriend...but that's it.
Monday, July 24, 2006
My Final Analysis.
This is the last time I will write about her. I'm sorry for dragging you through this.
I saw her again last night and I realized that she is a good girl. I can't help but love her for who she is. I can't be mad and wondering. I can't feel bad for not getting a chance. As I have gone back and forth I can't send it. My Concerns aren't valid.
I was aided with some great advise from my sister Kara:
"Your last entry you said you were over her, but obviously you are not. Is it her you miss, or is it the fact that she doesn't want to be with you that makes you want her more? She's allowed to flirt, she's allowed to be friends, she's allowed to pull away and she doesn't need to give you an explanation. It sucks, but it's true. So here's the question, do you let her go, or do you let yourself be hurt by her even more when she has already said what she wanted to say?
I recall the classic line from a great song by bonnie raite: I can't make you love me, I can't make you're heart feel something it won't. Here in the dark, in these final hours, I will lay down my heart, cause I can't make you love me if you don't.
Let her go. It is completely her loss. You are giving her opportunities she doesn't deserve. You are a romantic, a man, a hottie and so funny. You do the choosing...take control."
I'd go back and erase that last post but I'm not going to. I felt that way. I have nothing to hide. She may read it. But she'll read this too: doom.
I saw her again last night and I realized that she is a good girl. I can't help but love her for who she is. I can't be mad and wondering. I can't feel bad for not getting a chance. As I have gone back and forth I can't send it. My Concerns aren't valid.
I was aided with some great advise from my sister Kara:
"Your last entry you said you were over her, but obviously you are not. Is it her you miss, or is it the fact that she doesn't want to be with you that makes you want her more? She's allowed to flirt, she's allowed to be friends, she's allowed to pull away and she doesn't need to give you an explanation. It sucks, but it's true. So here's the question, do you let her go, or do you let yourself be hurt by her even more when she has already said what she wanted to say?
I recall the classic line from a great song by bonnie raite: I can't make you love me, I can't make you're heart feel something it won't. Here in the dark, in these final hours, I will lay down my heart, cause I can't make you love me if you don't.
Let her go. It is completely her loss. You are giving her opportunities she doesn't deserve. You are a romantic, a man, a hottie and so funny. You do the choosing...take control."
I'd go back and erase that last post but I'm not going to. I felt that way. I have nothing to hide. She may read it. But she'll read this too: doom.
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Should I Send It?
I am writing you this because I don’t understand your point of view...your situation. I want to understand. I’m not mad; I’m not trying to pressure you into anything. I’m not judging you. I like you, you know that. I like being your friend. I think you have been honest with me; I have no reason to believe you haven’t been. Can you help me understand?
Our minds work very differently. I am in a similar situation as you. I know that mine, supposedly, is not as intense or traumatizing as yours was. None the less, I have been through more than you know. You may think, oh you only knew me for a few weeks, but that is all it took. Here I am trying to get over you and trying to move on. It’s hard and I wish I didn’t have to but I do.
Let me tell you about how my brain works and maybe you can see why I am struggling to understand you. When relationships in my life have ended I end up handling it in 2 ways. Either I close myself off for a period of time, be it weeks or months, or I excuse it and move on. In the first case I mope around, I am sad, and I write some poems…all that kind of stuff. I don’t really go out much and I try to deal with the emotions and the separation. While with the 2nd style I may still be sad but I move on and allow myself the opportunity for something to come along. I’m out and about looking for new opportunities to get hurt again…not really, but that is what keeps happening.
So when I hear you telling me that you are trying to get over this guy, the heartbreak, the feelings for him, and I see you out happy, flirting, outgoing, and looking available I get confused.
I start wondering in my mind…
Why is she flirting with guys?
Doesn’t she know that guys are going to like her if she is doing that?
Why is she putting herself at risk if she’s not ready?
If she’s going to be flirting and going out on dates with guys, why is she not giving me a chance?
Was she ever interested in me or was she telling me all of this to let me down easy?
Why does she want to be my friend?
What kind of friends does she want us to be?
The ‘Hey what’s up, we should hang out sometime’ kind?
Or the real deal, I know everything about you and I still love you kind?
Is she hoping the guy will figure out that she is the one for him?
Is she waiting for that to happen?
Is that why she’s going to BYU so she can be ‘around’ in case he realizes how great she is?
These may all be the stupidest questions ever to you. But I don’t know what you are thinking; I don’t know how you handle these things. I know you are busy. Think about it. Take your time. Maybe you can fill me in and help me understand. I haven’t ever done this before. I usually just say F it and let it die. I never try to stay friends. Why it is different this time? I don’t know.
-Caleb
Our minds work very differently. I am in a similar situation as you. I know that mine, supposedly, is not as intense or traumatizing as yours was. None the less, I have been through more than you know. You may think, oh you only knew me for a few weeks, but that is all it took. Here I am trying to get over you and trying to move on. It’s hard and I wish I didn’t have to but I do.
Let me tell you about how my brain works and maybe you can see why I am struggling to understand you. When relationships in my life have ended I end up handling it in 2 ways. Either I close myself off for a period of time, be it weeks or months, or I excuse it and move on. In the first case I mope around, I am sad, and I write some poems…all that kind of stuff. I don’t really go out much and I try to deal with the emotions and the separation. While with the 2nd style I may still be sad but I move on and allow myself the opportunity for something to come along. I’m out and about looking for new opportunities to get hurt again…not really, but that is what keeps happening.
So when I hear you telling me that you are trying to get over this guy, the heartbreak, the feelings for him, and I see you out happy, flirting, outgoing, and looking available I get confused.
I start wondering in my mind…
Why is she flirting with guys?
Doesn’t she know that guys are going to like her if she is doing that?
Why is she putting herself at risk if she’s not ready?
If she’s going to be flirting and going out on dates with guys, why is she not giving me a chance?
Was she ever interested in me or was she telling me all of this to let me down easy?
Why does she want to be my friend?
What kind of friends does she want us to be?
The ‘Hey what’s up, we should hang out sometime’ kind?
Or the real deal, I know everything about you and I still love you kind?
Is she hoping the guy will figure out that she is the one for him?
Is she waiting for that to happen?
Is that why she’s going to BYU so she can be ‘around’ in case he realizes how great she is?
These may all be the stupidest questions ever to you. But I don’t know what you are thinking; I don’t know how you handle these things. I know you are busy. Think about it. Take your time. Maybe you can fill me in and help me understand. I haven’t ever done this before. I usually just say F it and let it die. I never try to stay friends. Why it is different this time? I don’t know.
-Caleb
Thursday, July 13, 2006
3 New Poems and a Quick Recovery
Yes its true, NEW POEMS! Happy day...I guess. Most of my poems are sad...so maybe not happy day. But at least you have some new material. I have put my poems in alphabetical order so it is not as easy to track the new poems down. I did that because I didn't want the people who inspired them to be able to go to my blog and see a new post and say, "That's about me! You Jerk!" or something similar to that. I will give you the titles though.
"Repetitious Ways", "Her Wall", "Scared".
I'll do some explaining because the "Quick Recovery" wouldn't make sense with out it. You can read my last 2 posts and know that there has been a little something going on with me and this girl. Well, I told her I was writing some poems inspired by her and she wanted to read them. She's been to the site before too. So she read the same ones you're about to read.
Without getting into any details...we broke up, this time from being friends. We figured out that it was too hard for me to just like her as a friend (because she's chocolate milk to me) and that she wasn't ready for anything to happen yet. It was hard to take. I wanted to be friends with her still.
I wrote her an email (which was how we came to the previous conclusions) that laid it all out. At the end I said, "I don’t know where to go from here really. My guess is that it is over. I don’t want it to be. Out of all the ones who have hurt me, you are by far my favorite one. You have my respect and love. Thank you so much my tiny chocolate milk." I shed a couple of tears as I wrote the last sentence, sent it, and left work.
It ended on a good note. She replied and it was over. I was sad. I tried not to think about it. I was really sad. This girl, she was to steal a line from a movie, "like Christmas morning." But it was done.
Oddly enough, while eating a tasty Flauta Bajio, from Bajio's Mexican Grill, it just hit me...I didn't like her anymore. Yeah! I know! But believe it! It was so strange. I just thought...Why bother having it hurt? You said what you needed to say. You did everything you could do. It wasn't the right time. Oh Well. Whataya gonna do.
And that was it. I didn't have those feelings for her. It was over. I could be her friend and not wish to be the guy that would buy her a pretty ring one day. I just didn't care and I was ok with what happened.
I texted her and told her what had happened. She replied later that night and said she was happy. I emailed her today and texted her yesterday and she hasn't responded...and you know what? That's ok.
"Repetitious Ways", "Her Wall", "Scared".
I'll do some explaining because the "Quick Recovery" wouldn't make sense with out it. You can read my last 2 posts and know that there has been a little something going on with me and this girl. Well, I told her I was writing some poems inspired by her and she wanted to read them. She's been to the site before too. So she read the same ones you're about to read.
Without getting into any details...we broke up, this time from being friends. We figured out that it was too hard for me to just like her as a friend (because she's chocolate milk to me) and that she wasn't ready for anything to happen yet. It was hard to take. I wanted to be friends with her still.
I wrote her an email (which was how we came to the previous conclusions) that laid it all out. At the end I said, "I don’t know where to go from here really. My guess is that it is over. I don’t want it to be. Out of all the ones who have hurt me, you are by far my favorite one. You have my respect and love. Thank you so much my tiny chocolate milk." I shed a couple of tears as I wrote the last sentence, sent it, and left work.
It ended on a good note. She replied and it was over. I was sad. I tried not to think about it. I was really sad. This girl, she was to steal a line from a movie, "like Christmas morning." But it was done.
Oddly enough, while eating a tasty Flauta Bajio, from Bajio's Mexican Grill, it just hit me...I didn't like her anymore. Yeah! I know! But believe it! It was so strange. I just thought...Why bother having it hurt? You said what you needed to say. You did everything you could do. It wasn't the right time. Oh Well. Whataya gonna do.
And that was it. I didn't have those feelings for her. It was over. I could be her friend and not wish to be the guy that would buy her a pretty ring one day. I just didn't care and I was ok with what happened.
I texted her and told her what had happened. She replied later that night and said she was happy. I emailed her today and texted her yesterday and she hasn't responded...and you know what? That's ok.
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Chocolate Milk
I love the stuff. It just tastes so good! It is filling and satifying. I could drink it everyday. It is my favorite. I could always go for some.
The girl that I was telling you about earlier...she is just like chocolate milk. And now everytime I drink it I think of her. Curse you chocolate milk for being so irresistibly great.
The new Dashboard Confessional Album is out and its great. I reccommend it.
The girl that I was telling you about earlier...she is just like chocolate milk. And now everytime I drink it I think of her. Curse you chocolate milk for being so irresistibly great.
The new Dashboard Confessional Album is out and its great. I reccommend it.
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Reason for Rhymns
You may have gone to my other blog called "A Poet of Sorts." If you have, you'd see that most of the poems are about unsuccessful relationships. Well, I'll be adding to the pile.
This is also the reason I usually don't tell family members about my dating life. I tend to jump the gun and get too excited over what ends up to be nothing. Too Deep Too Soon. I'm sorry I said anything, it was obviously premature and now I have to deal with the, "It'll be ok Caleb, we all think you're the best." I know you mean well and I love you to death for it. But I don't want to have to deal with it.
Here's my situation. This girl, she's great, everything I'd want in a girlfriend,inside and out. She's like a RIO Buffet in Vegas, check out the spread! She's got it all: brains, opinions, looks, weaknesses, courage...someone I would love to be exclusive with. We get along so well. We love being around each other and both are sad when we have to say goodbye. We have all kinds of stuff in common, from music to family background.
To make a long story short, she doesn't see it happening between us. She's not ready to get into another relationship right now but she still wants to be friends. What sucks is that there was a real potential but she wasn't in a place in life where she could give me a fair chance. She wouldn't let her heart into the situation. She built Pink Floyd's Wall but it didn't get torn down at the end like the album version. Somehow I am the only one that ended up crushed. What am I supposed to do!!!!!!
I want to hang out with her but being around her is only going to remind me:
A) That I would constantly see why I liked her so much to begin with.
B) I know its not going anywhere.
C) I want it to go somewhere.
So being around her, hanging out, just makes me hurt inside. It will hurt when I'm with her and hurt when I say goodbye or when I say, "yeah let's go do that." Because I know its not going anywhere when I want it to. I don't want to put myself through that. I'm so tired of that pain. It seems like being with her hurts more than being away.
But if I'm not friends and we don't hang out anymore then I'm not a big enough person to just let it go. We do have fun together. If I stick around then maybe she'll come around when she's ready. If I am sticking around then I'm not letting her heal. So how do I be friends without looking like the only reason I'm sticking around is just to get back on the boat when it is ready to sail? I want to be able to be her friend and not have other motives for sticking around. No easy answers here!
If I stay friends and continue to want her, I miss out on finding someone else. If I'm out dating other chicks and she comes around, I miss the boat again because some other lucky dude will get in at the right time. Getting in at the right time is something I am unable to do on a consitent basis... for example.
I am the best wingman alive. All my boys got married (with a little help) and I nurse the chicks back and get them ready to go find a guy they really want to be with. It's a vicious cycle. I'm like a minor league baseball team; when the pros get off the disabled list they go to the minors to prepare for the big league. I always seem to find the fresh off the disabled listers, just in time for some minor league training.
Sorry this is so long. This pretty much sums it up. Most of it is therapy for me. So go read a poem or two...they won't make you any more sad than after reading this. World Cup 2006! GET READY!!!!!!
This is also the reason I usually don't tell family members about my dating life. I tend to jump the gun and get too excited over what ends up to be nothing. Too Deep Too Soon. I'm sorry I said anything, it was obviously premature and now I have to deal with the, "It'll be ok Caleb, we all think you're the best." I know you mean well and I love you to death for it. But I don't want to have to deal with it.
Here's my situation. This girl, she's great, everything I'd want in a girlfriend,inside and out. She's like a RIO Buffet in Vegas, check out the spread! She's got it all: brains, opinions, looks, weaknesses, courage...someone I would love to be exclusive with. We get along so well. We love being around each other and both are sad when we have to say goodbye. We have all kinds of stuff in common, from music to family background.
To make a long story short, she doesn't see it happening between us. She's not ready to get into another relationship right now but she still wants to be friends. What sucks is that there was a real potential but she wasn't in a place in life where she could give me a fair chance. She wouldn't let her heart into the situation. She built Pink Floyd's Wall but it didn't get torn down at the end like the album version. Somehow I am the only one that ended up crushed. What am I supposed to do!!!!!!
I want to hang out with her but being around her is only going to remind me:
A) That I would constantly see why I liked her so much to begin with.
B) I know its not going anywhere.
C) I want it to go somewhere.
So being around her, hanging out, just makes me hurt inside. It will hurt when I'm with her and hurt when I say goodbye or when I say, "yeah let's go do that." Because I know its not going anywhere when I want it to. I don't want to put myself through that. I'm so tired of that pain. It seems like being with her hurts more than being away.
But if I'm not friends and we don't hang out anymore then I'm not a big enough person to just let it go. We do have fun together. If I stick around then maybe she'll come around when she's ready. If I am sticking around then I'm not letting her heal. So how do I be friends without looking like the only reason I'm sticking around is just to get back on the boat when it is ready to sail? I want to be able to be her friend and not have other motives for sticking around. No easy answers here!
If I stay friends and continue to want her, I miss out on finding someone else. If I'm out dating other chicks and she comes around, I miss the boat again because some other lucky dude will get in at the right time. Getting in at the right time is something I am unable to do on a consitent basis... for example.
I am the best wingman alive. All my boys got married (with a little help) and I nurse the chicks back and get them ready to go find a guy they really want to be with. It's a vicious cycle. I'm like a minor league baseball team; when the pros get off the disabled list they go to the minors to prepare for the big league. I always seem to find the fresh off the disabled listers, just in time for some minor league training.
Sorry this is so long. This pretty much sums it up. Most of it is therapy for me. So go read a poem or two...they won't make you any more sad than after reading this. World Cup 2006! GET READY!!!!!!
Friday, June 02, 2006
A Harsh Dose of Reality
*Warning: Parental Advisory - Explicit Lyrics* <---that an="" honest="" p="" s="" warning="">
I was watching a show on VH1 called Hip Hop Videos: Sexploitations on the Set. It was a show that talked about how poorly the women in rap videos were treated. They were propostitioned, degraded, and exploited. They were used for their voluptuousness, if that is a word. (*whispering* that means they had big boobs and butts...) It was basically a show that had women on there complaining about the atmosphere they had to work in. Tight clothes, booty shakin, sexual advances.
All I have to say to the women that had these things happen to them is: DUH! The show actually made me quite angry because they put the blame squarely on the shoulders of the Rappers and Producers. Well let me make a point...If there weren't women willing to strip down to nothing and shake it and get exploited then there wouldn't be any videos like that. It is the classic case of placing blame on someone other than me. Did you HAVE to audition for the "Big Pimpin'" video or the "Shake it like a Salt Shaker" video? No. And even if you didn't know what song it was and you got on set and saw that they wanted you to wear next to nothing and dance on a pole, you really didn't have to stay and do it did you?
YOU CAN'T MAKE CREAM OF MUSHROOM SOUP WITH OUT THE MUSHROOMS! If you don't get the analogy then simply replace the words "cream of mushroom soup" with "a video with half naked chicks dancing erotically" and "the mushrooms" with "half naked chicks dancing erotically," and you'll figure it out I hope.
I'm not saying the rappers and producers shouldn't be help somewhat accountable. After all, they are the one's providing and expecting that type of environment. But don't make a whole show and say its not partially the girls faults for doing it! If you don't make that type of environment available, it's hard to sustain one. One of the girls on the show that was being interviewed and did quite a bit of complaining had a t-shirt that had a picture of a lime or something and said "Sqeeze Me" right across the boobs...I'm sorry but I don't feel bad for you at all. I can't sit there and listen to you complain about how demeaning it was for you on the set of countless videos when:
A) YOU KEPT GOING BACK TO THESE VIDEO SHOOTS and
B) YOU'RE WEARING THAT SHIRT
I had to say something.
I was watching a show on VH1 called Hip Hop Videos: Sexploitations on the Set. It was a show that talked about how poorly the women in rap videos were treated. They were propostitioned, degraded, and exploited. They were used for their voluptuousness, if that is a word. (*whispering* that means they had big boobs and butts...) It was basically a show that had women on there complaining about the atmosphere they had to work in. Tight clothes, booty shakin, sexual advances.
All I have to say to the women that had these things happen to them is: DUH! The show actually made me quite angry because they put the blame squarely on the shoulders of the Rappers and Producers. Well let me make a point...If there weren't women willing to strip down to nothing and shake it and get exploited then there wouldn't be any videos like that. It is the classic case of placing blame on someone other than me. Did you HAVE to audition for the "Big Pimpin'" video or the "Shake it like a Salt Shaker" video? No. And even if you didn't know what song it was and you got on set and saw that they wanted you to wear next to nothing and dance on a pole, you really didn't have to stay and do it did you?
YOU CAN'T MAKE CREAM OF MUSHROOM SOUP WITH OUT THE MUSHROOMS! If you don't get the analogy then simply replace the words "cream of mushroom soup" with "a video with half naked chicks dancing erotically" and "the mushrooms" with "half naked chicks dancing erotically," and you'll figure it out I hope.
I'm not saying the rappers and producers shouldn't be help somewhat accountable. After all, they are the one's providing and expecting that type of environment. But don't make a whole show and say its not partially the girls faults for doing it! If you don't make that type of environment available, it's hard to sustain one. One of the girls on the show that was being interviewed and did quite a bit of complaining had a t-shirt that had a picture of a lime or something and said "Sqeeze Me" right across the boobs...I'm sorry but I don't feel bad for you at all. I can't sit there and listen to you complain about how demeaning it was for you on the set of countless videos when:
A) YOU KEPT GOING BACK TO THESE VIDEO SHOOTS and
B) YOU'RE WEARING THAT SHIRT
I had to say something.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
The Story of my Ankle injury
I was playing softball on May 2nd. I had tagged up at first and was running to second base after the catcher had caught a foul ball. I got a good jump and caught him off guard. As the throw was coming in, I could see that it was coming in low. So instead of sliding in and getting hit with the ball I decided to jump over the ball and tag. When I came down on my right foot, heel first, it planted firmly in the dirt. My leg decided to keep moving. I think that is one of Newton's Laws. "An object in motion stays in motion, until it is acted on by another force." Something like that. In this case the other force that stopped my leg and body was my deltoid ligament. It of course ripped. I suffered an eversion sprain. 99% of ankle sprains are inversion, where the ligaments on the outside of your foot are compromised. The eversion sprain is far more rare and sucky...if I may use some medical terms.
It felt like the tibia...Kara, correct me because I am wrong...the left bone in your right leg that connects your knee to your ankle...felt like it folded over and touched the ground. I collapsed to the ground just past 2nd base and lay there about 5 inches from the bag. I was then tagged for the 3rd out of the inning.
Being probably the rawest person in the state I hobbled behind home plate and played catcher. I then took a couple innings off and tried to “walk it off.” It felt like the only thing keeping my ankle from simply falling off was the fact that I had skin. I had to bat and limped to 1st when I got a hit. By the 4th inning I was at 3rd base. Limited in my mobility the other team thought they would take advantage of my gimpyness. They obviously don’t know me. During the final inning when time had run out and we were hanging onto a minimal lead I made 2 outs from 3rd. One was rather good. I had to move to my right, do a 360, and chuck it over to beat the runner. People on the team were calling me the MVP. It made me feel good.
Anyhow, I went to a doctor and he took some x-rays and said that nothing was broken. He was gonna put me in a hard cast for 3 weeks. That was it. I left without a cast and went to another doctor on Monday. I got an ultra sound and found out that it was the deltoid ligament. Now I am in a walking boot most of the day.
Being this raw and with my team in the Cooley park Tournament of Champions, I had to play some ball last night. I put on 2 ankle braces and experienced discomfort in the form of an almost blister and bloody knee. When I batted I used a pinch runner although once time I hit it over the out fielders head and had to go for a triple. I have another game tonight but this time I have some mole skin and a band-aid to protect me.
It felt like the tibia...Kara, correct me because I am wrong...the left bone in your right leg that connects your knee to your ankle...felt like it folded over and touched the ground. I collapsed to the ground just past 2nd base and lay there about 5 inches from the bag. I was then tagged for the 3rd out of the inning.
Being probably the rawest person in the state I hobbled behind home plate and played catcher. I then took a couple innings off and tried to “walk it off.” It felt like the only thing keeping my ankle from simply falling off was the fact that I had skin. I had to bat and limped to 1st when I got a hit. By the 4th inning I was at 3rd base. Limited in my mobility the other team thought they would take advantage of my gimpyness. They obviously don’t know me. During the final inning when time had run out and we were hanging onto a minimal lead I made 2 outs from 3rd. One was rather good. I had to move to my right, do a 360, and chuck it over to beat the runner. People on the team were calling me the MVP. It made me feel good.
Anyhow, I went to a doctor and he took some x-rays and said that nothing was broken. He was gonna put me in a hard cast for 3 weeks. That was it. I left without a cast and went to another doctor on Monday. I got an ultra sound and found out that it was the deltoid ligament. Now I am in a walking boot most of the day.
Being this raw and with my team in the Cooley park Tournament of Champions, I had to play some ball last night. I put on 2 ankle braces and experienced discomfort in the form of an almost blister and bloody knee. When I batted I used a pinch runner although once time I hit it over the out fielders head and had to go for a triple. I have another game tonight but this time I have some mole skin and a band-aid to protect me.
tuesday ankle pic
the doctor said I ruptured a ligament on the inside of my ankle. only 1% of sprains are this kind. aswesome for me!
Sunday, May 07, 2006
Saturday, May 06, 2006
My NEW bad Ankle
the doctor said since nothing is broken I must be OK. I am going in for a second, first opinion on monday.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Last night's Diamondbacks Game
Last night I went to the Diamondbacks game with Robb and Dalee MacDonald. He had free tickets from work. They were pretty good seat and they came with free parking. Not only that but we got to see a good game that included a grand slam! This was an added bonus because now I get a FREE Grand Slam at Denny’s with my ticket. Awesome.
Here is the story inside the story. That baseball stadium is HUGE! The whole time I was there I was looking around at the size of it all. The stadium holds probably 60,000-70,000 people. It is a giant convertible. During the hot summer days they close the roof and turn on the A/C. But the size of everything amazed me. What made an even stronger impression on me was the amount of sponsorships and advertising that went on at the game. It has never hit me before this hard. Everything at the stadium was sponsored or was used to advertise at company or product. Here are some examples.
• All of the cup holders that the fans used had an Infinity logo on it.
• The Grand Slam was sponsored by Denny’s
• The strike outs, normally signified by a “K” were Circle K logos instead of regular K’s.
• There were banners and signs everywhere. The Arizona Republic sign, in dead center field, had letters that were probably 20 feet tall.
• There were electronic signs that flashed different advertisements throughout the game. I am pretty sure that they changed every inning.
• In between innings there were different promotional events like a US Airways miles give-away for catching some fly balls, a dancing contest sponsored by somebody, Lotto fan zone.
• There were also live spots from around the stadium broadcast on the big screen advertising sales going on at the gift shop or other attractions.
• Sprint, sponsored the “call to the bullpen” when a team brought in a relief pitcher.
It reminded me of the time I was at a Real Salt Lake game and the yellow card that a player was issued was sponsored by Yellow Book or something and the red card was sponsored by Jiffy Lube. The corner kicks were sponsored by Western Union, “reminding you that the nearest Western Union was, ‘Just around the corner.’
It was unreal. Most everything you could think of had been spoken for. I found a few more places that they could stick some ads but I decided to not go to their marketing department and pitch my ideas. I can’t say I blame them for doing it. I mean, they need all the money they can get so they can pay those players the outrageous salaries they “earn” for playing baseball. I bought a 32 oz soda and a hot dog for $9.25. Franchises have to do that when they only sell 1/3rd of the seats.
Here is the story inside the story. That baseball stadium is HUGE! The whole time I was there I was looking around at the size of it all. The stadium holds probably 60,000-70,000 people. It is a giant convertible. During the hot summer days they close the roof and turn on the A/C. But the size of everything amazed me. What made an even stronger impression on me was the amount of sponsorships and advertising that went on at the game. It has never hit me before this hard. Everything at the stadium was sponsored or was used to advertise at company or product. Here are some examples.
• All of the cup holders that the fans used had an Infinity logo on it.
• The Grand Slam was sponsored by Denny’s
• The strike outs, normally signified by a “K” were Circle K logos instead of regular K’s.
• There were banners and signs everywhere. The Arizona Republic sign, in dead center field, had letters that were probably 20 feet tall.
• There were electronic signs that flashed different advertisements throughout the game. I am pretty sure that they changed every inning.
• In between innings there were different promotional events like a US Airways miles give-away for catching some fly balls, a dancing contest sponsored by somebody, Lotto fan zone.
• There were also live spots from around the stadium broadcast on the big screen advertising sales going on at the gift shop or other attractions.
• Sprint, sponsored the “call to the bullpen” when a team brought in a relief pitcher.
It reminded me of the time I was at a Real Salt Lake game and the yellow card that a player was issued was sponsored by Yellow Book or something and the red card was sponsored by Jiffy Lube. The corner kicks were sponsored by Western Union, “reminding you that the nearest Western Union was, ‘Just around the corner.’
It was unreal. Most everything you could think of had been spoken for. I found a few more places that they could stick some ads but I decided to not go to their marketing department and pitch my ideas. I can’t say I blame them for doing it. I mean, they need all the money they can get so they can pay those players the outrageous salaries they “earn” for playing baseball. I bought a 32 oz soda and a hot dog for $9.25. Franchises have to do that when they only sell 1/3rd of the seats.
Thursday, March 30, 2006
DVRs and Cell Phones
What joy! DVR/TiVo simply put is...awesome. I love it. I don't have to worry anymore about missing an episode of 24, then having to wait 6 months for the DVD to come out. That alone pretty much pays for the monthly fee. I pay 5 bucks for DVR every month. I'd spend at least $30 to rent all of the DVDs. So that offests the cost of 6 months of service.
Tonight I watched, House, Boston Legal, and American Idol, 3 hours of shows in only 2 hours. That means I am watching less TV which is always good right?
I just thought I would share the joy of technology. The world we live in is amazing. I just bought the new T-Mobile MDA. It has internet access, automatic email forwarding, the whole Microsoft office suite on it, a 1.3 megapixel camera that takes video as well. It can send video email, I can put video files on it and watch shows, and play mp3 files as well. I bought a chip that holds 1 gig of data. That is like 3 full length movies or 500 songs or 1500 photos.
The other day I emailed a co-worker a homework file he left on a jump drive at the office from his work computer. He then emailed the file, from his phone, to his buddy's laptop at school who then sent it wirelessly to a printer. The friend then went and turned it in because my co-worker was running late. Tell me how cool that is...actually you don't need to because I already know.
Tonight I watched, House, Boston Legal, and American Idol, 3 hours of shows in only 2 hours. That means I am watching less TV which is always good right?
I just thought I would share the joy of technology. The world we live in is amazing. I just bought the new T-Mobile MDA. It has internet access, automatic email forwarding, the whole Microsoft office suite on it, a 1.3 megapixel camera that takes video as well. It can send video email, I can put video files on it and watch shows, and play mp3 files as well. I bought a chip that holds 1 gig of data. That is like 3 full length movies or 500 songs or 1500 photos.
The other day I emailed a co-worker a homework file he left on a jump drive at the office from his work computer. He then emailed the file, from his phone, to his buddy's laptop at school who then sent it wirelessly to a printer. The friend then went and turned it in because my co-worker was running late. Tell me how cool that is...actually you don't need to because I already know.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
A Soccer Blog
Those of you who know who I am, know I play soccer. Love it! 2003 National Club Champs with UVSC...Big Ups. You also know that I am straight up cash money, accepted everywhere, as the bomb indoor keeper. Internationally known!
I recently read some articles on espn.com where the authors were saying that the Major League Soccer (MLS) needed to try to keep the younger players from going over seas to play. The MLS is the governing body over professional soccer in America. There are 12 teams all over the country and is starting its 11th season in March. (Just as a note: Over seas has better teams, better leagues, and pays some players in the neighborhood of $300,000/game…that's like 18 mil a year…Granted you gotta be sicker than sick, like way past Robitussin, to get that kind of cash but it does happen. The top players in the MLS make about $500,000/year.)
So why would any of these younger, up and coming players want to stay in the MLS if they could go international, play better soccer, get paid more, and have a better future?
The MLS is a crap league when compared to most others. It is the only league in America that doesn’t draw the greatest players from around the world. In fact, it may be the only league where players would leave if they had the chance to play somewhere else like: England, France, Germany, Spain, Italy, the Netherlands, Scotland, Argentina, or even the Mexico. The NBA, MLB, NFL, NHL do they have this problem? NEVER. You didn’t see Jerry Rice saying, “Yo, I gotta get into the Canadian Football League that is where it’s AT!” Michael Jordan wasn’t like, “I hope one day I’ll be good enough to play in Italy.”
If the MLS wants to keep its players in the U.S. this is what needs to happen. The National Media needs to back soccer. We can’t have programs like Around the Horn or PTI on ESPN, bashing the sport and saying it is stupid. Once the media starts talking about the games and building interest, the advertising will come from the corporations. Once the Ad revenues increase and the fans show up in support, the teams/league will have enough money to pay the players more. Once the pay increases the league will attract better talent from around the world. When that happens soccer in America will become the elite league in the world. Soccer in America will become a sport that isn’t a last choice. Then we would produce the talent to win the World Cup, which is the ultimate goal.
The Men’s National Team, the team that represents our country, didn’t have their most recently played game televised. No mention of it was made on any news station or sport center-like show. If the national sports media refuses to cover the games then how can the sport grow? If you can’t watch or even hear about the games, how can we build enough hype to create a fan base? How can we recruit the youth, the children, to stick with it long enough to get good? In a country where we try to be the best, why are we getting sold the short, stumpy end of the stick when it comes to soccer? It makes me sick. I want to see the USA win the World Cup. It won’t happen if the media doesn’t get behind the game. I plead that they will; that one day, the U.S. will be the Mecca of all things sport, including Soccer.
I recently read some articles on espn.com where the authors were saying that the Major League Soccer (MLS) needed to try to keep the younger players from going over seas to play. The MLS is the governing body over professional soccer in America. There are 12 teams all over the country and is starting its 11th season in March. (Just as a note: Over seas has better teams, better leagues, and pays some players in the neighborhood of $300,000/game…that's like 18 mil a year…Granted you gotta be sicker than sick, like way past Robitussin, to get that kind of cash but it does happen. The top players in the MLS make about $500,000/year.)
So why would any of these younger, up and coming players want to stay in the MLS if they could go international, play better soccer, get paid more, and have a better future?
The MLS is a crap league when compared to most others. It is the only league in America that doesn’t draw the greatest players from around the world. In fact, it may be the only league where players would leave if they had the chance to play somewhere else like: England, France, Germany, Spain, Italy, the Netherlands, Scotland, Argentina, or even the Mexico. The NBA, MLB, NFL, NHL do they have this problem? NEVER. You didn’t see Jerry Rice saying, “Yo, I gotta get into the Canadian Football League that is where it’s AT!” Michael Jordan wasn’t like, “I hope one day I’ll be good enough to play in Italy.”
If the MLS wants to keep its players in the U.S. this is what needs to happen. The National Media needs to back soccer. We can’t have programs like Around the Horn or PTI on ESPN, bashing the sport and saying it is stupid. Once the media starts talking about the games and building interest, the advertising will come from the corporations. Once the Ad revenues increase and the fans show up in support, the teams/league will have enough money to pay the players more. Once the pay increases the league will attract better talent from around the world. When that happens soccer in America will become the elite league in the world. Soccer in America will become a sport that isn’t a last choice. Then we would produce the talent to win the World Cup, which is the ultimate goal.
The Men’s National Team, the team that represents our country, didn’t have their most recently played game televised. No mention of it was made on any news station or sport center-like show. If the national sports media refuses to cover the games then how can the sport grow? If you can’t watch or even hear about the games, how can we build enough hype to create a fan base? How can we recruit the youth, the children, to stick with it long enough to get good? In a country where we try to be the best, why are we getting sold the short, stumpy end of the stick when it comes to soccer? It makes me sick. I want to see the USA win the World Cup. It won’t happen if the media doesn’t get behind the game. I plead that they will; that one day, the U.S. will be the Mecca of all things sport, including Soccer.
Thursday, January 19, 2006
My New Job
So I have started work and from what I can tell it is going to be AWESOME! It'll be hard but totally cool. I am learning a lot and I'm trying to be creative and apply what I learned in school.
I work for a commercial land developer. We buy a plot of land and build shell commercial office space. We then sell the space to businesses ranging from Law, Medical, Accounting/Financial services, Real Estate, etc. These companies are then able to design the insides of the offices to fit their needs. We provide the opportunity for these people to own their space for about what normal rent would cost. This is a benefit to them because owning builds equity.
My job as the marketing guy involves quite a bit of stuff. I work with brochure design, with what the website looks like and its content, and signage design. I run database reports and formulate the marketing strategy. Where do we advertise, what do those ads look like, how long do we use them? I do the press releases, company parties, and groundbreaking. I decided what community service we should do, where and whom we should provide sponsorships to. I determine what the emails say for follow-ups, I decide where we need to be looking for new leads; I will be doing a big mailer direct marketing campaign. It incorporates a lot and if I don't do a good job then we don't sell our buildings and we go under. But that won't happen.
I work for a commercial land developer. We buy a plot of land and build shell commercial office space. We then sell the space to businesses ranging from Law, Medical, Accounting/Financial services, Real Estate, etc. These companies are then able to design the insides of the offices to fit their needs. We provide the opportunity for these people to own their space for about what normal rent would cost. This is a benefit to them because owning builds equity.
My job as the marketing guy involves quite a bit of stuff. I work with brochure design, with what the website looks like and its content, and signage design. I run database reports and formulate the marketing strategy. Where do we advertise, what do those ads look like, how long do we use them? I do the press releases, company parties, and groundbreaking. I decided what community service we should do, where and whom we should provide sponsorships to. I determine what the emails say for follow-ups, I decide where we need to be looking for new leads; I will be doing a big mailer direct marketing campaign. It incorporates a lot and if I don't do a good job then we don't sell our buildings and we go under. But that won't happen.
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