This is the last time I will write about her. I'm sorry for dragging you through this.
I saw her again last night and I realized that she is a good girl. I can't help but love her for who she is. I can't be mad and wondering. I can't feel bad for not getting a chance. As I have gone back and forth I can't send it. My Concerns aren't valid.
I was aided with some great advise from my sister Kara:
"Your last entry you said you were over her, but obviously you are not. Is it her you miss, or is it the fact that she doesn't want to be with you that makes you want her more? She's allowed to flirt, she's allowed to be friends, she's allowed to pull away and she doesn't need to give you an explanation. It sucks, but it's true. So here's the question, do you let her go, or do you let yourself be hurt by her even more when she has already said what she wanted to say?
I recall the classic line from a great song by bonnie raite: I can't make you love me, I can't make you're heart feel something it won't. Here in the dark, in these final hours, I will lay down my heart, cause I can't make you love me if you don't.
Let her go. It is completely her loss. You are giving her opportunities she doesn't deserve. You are a romantic, a man, a hottie and so funny. You do the choosing...take control."
I'd go back and erase that last post but I'm not going to. I felt that way. I have nothing to hide. She may read it. But she'll read this too: doom.