Thursday, June 29, 2006

Chocolate Milk

I love the stuff. It just tastes so good! It is filling and satifying. I could drink it everyday. It is my favorite. I could always go for some.

The girl that I was telling you about earlier...she is just like chocolate milk. And now everytime I drink it I think of her. Curse you chocolate milk for being so irresistibly great.

The new Dashboard Confessional Album is out and its great. I reccommend it.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Reason for Rhymns

You may have gone to my other blog called "A Poet of Sorts." If you have, you'd see that most of the poems are about unsuccessful relationships. Well, I'll be adding to the pile.

This is also the reason I usually don't tell family members about my dating life. I tend to jump the gun and get too excited over what ends up to be nothing. Too Deep Too Soon. I'm sorry I said anything, it was obviously premature and now I have to deal with the, "It'll be ok Caleb, we all think you're the best." I know you mean well and I love you to death for it. But I don't want to have to deal with it.

Here's my situation. This girl, she's great, everything I'd want in a girlfriend,inside and out. She's like a RIO Buffet in Vegas, check out the spread! She's got it all: brains, opinions, looks, weaknesses, courage...someone I would love to be exclusive with. We get along so well. We love being around each other and both are sad when we have to say goodbye. We have all kinds of stuff in common, from music to family background.

To make a long story short, she doesn't see it happening between us. She's not ready to get into another relationship right now but she still wants to be friends. What sucks is that there was a real potential but she wasn't in a place in life where she could give me a fair chance. She wouldn't let her heart into the situation. She built Pink Floyd's Wall but it didn't get torn down at the end like the album version. Somehow I am the only one that ended up crushed. What am I supposed to do!!!!!!

I want to hang out with her but being around her is only going to remind me:
A) That I would constantly see why I liked her so much to begin with.
B) I know its not going anywhere.
C) I want it to go somewhere.

So being around her, hanging out, just makes me hurt inside. It will hurt when I'm with her and hurt when I say goodbye or when I say, "yeah let's go do that." Because I know its not going anywhere when I want it to. I don't want to put myself through that. I'm so tired of that pain. It seems like being with her hurts more than being away.

But if I'm not friends and we don't hang out anymore then I'm not a big enough person to just let it go. We do have fun together. If I stick around then maybe she'll come around when she's ready. If I am sticking around then I'm not letting her heal. So how do I be friends without looking like the only reason I'm sticking around is just to get back on the boat when it is ready to sail? I want to be able to be her friend and not have other motives for sticking around. No easy answers here!

If I stay friends and continue to want her, I miss out on finding someone else. If I'm out dating other chicks and she comes around, I miss the boat again because some other lucky dude will get in at the right time. Getting in at the right time is something I am unable to do on a consitent basis... for example.

I am the best wingman alive. All my boys got married (with a little help) and I nurse the chicks back and get them ready to go find a guy they really want to be with. It's a vicious cycle. I'm like a minor league baseball team; when the pros get off the disabled list they go to the minors to prepare for the big league. I always seem to find the fresh off the disabled listers, just in time for some minor league training.

Sorry this is so long. This pretty much sums it up. Most of it is therapy for me. So go read a poem or two...they won't make you any more sad than after reading this. World Cup 2006! GET READY!!!!!!

Friday, June 02, 2006

A Harsh Dose of Reality

*Warning: Parental Advisory - Explicit Lyrics* <---that an="" honest="" p="" s="" warning="">
I was watching a show on VH1 called Hip Hop Videos: Sexploitations on the Set. It was a show that talked about how poorly the women in rap videos were treated. They were propostitioned, degraded, and exploited. They were used for their voluptuousness, if that is a word. (*whispering* that means they had big boobs and butts...) It was basically a show that had women on there complaining about the atmosphere they had to work in. Tight clothes, booty shakin, sexual advances.

All I have to say to the women that had these things happen to them is: DUH! The show actually made me quite angry because they put the blame squarely on the shoulders of the Rappers and Producers. Well let me make a point...If there weren't women willing to strip down to nothing and shake it and get exploited then there wouldn't be any videos like that. It is the classic case of placing blame on someone other than me. Did you HAVE to audition for the "Big Pimpin'" video or the "Shake it like a Salt Shaker" video? No. And even if you didn't know what song it was and you got on set and saw that they wanted you to wear next to nothing and dance on a pole, you really didn't have to stay and do it did you?

YOU CAN'T MAKE CREAM OF MUSHROOM SOUP WITH OUT THE MUSHROOMS! If you don't get the analogy then simply replace the words "cream of mushroom soup" with "a video with half naked chicks dancing erotically" and "the mushrooms" with "half naked chicks dancing erotically," and you'll figure it out I hope.

I'm not saying the rappers and producers shouldn't be help somewhat accountable. After all, they are the one's providing and expecting that type of environment. But don't make a whole show and say its not partially the girls faults for doing it! If you don't make that type of environment available, it's hard to sustain one. One of the girls on the show that was being interviewed and did quite a bit of complaining had a t-shirt that had a picture of a lime or something and said "Sqeeze Me" right across the boobs...I'm sorry but I don't feel bad for you at all. I can't sit there and listen to you complain about how demeaning it was for you on the set of countless videos when:

I had to say something.