Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Birthday Wishes

Its not my fault that I like awesome things. I have exceptional taste and I won't apologize.  My great taste ranges from women to suits to bacon.  I am willing to sacrifice at times, I am by no means a slave...I will eat a Hot N Ready pizza...or just not eat. I can slum (not you ladies) and I do for the most part, mainly because I don't have the deep pockets required to get what I want when I want it. 

This also poses a problem when it comes to birthday presents and other gifts.  I don't NEED a lot of stuff. I make due with what I have. Needless to say though, there are some wants in my life.  Things I won't get for myself because I can't afford them or can't justify the purchase, like the Adidas outlet...all of it.

So I ask for these things and usually do not receive. Totally understandable.  But in spite of high prices and an expectation that I won't get this stuff it won't stop me from asking. I stand firmly behind the thought that: 'You can't expect to get a better deal if you never ask for one.'  People aren't just going to give you stuff for no reason, especially if they don't know what you really want.

So here is the list of things I am digging on and would like everyone to get for me. :)

1. The Blendtec Blender. Its only the hottest blender in the game! Are there other blenders who have a  YouTube Channel dedicated to blending things from rakes to iPods?  Did you know it makes soup? It cooks it with friction from the blades. That is intense. Oh yeah, it makes ice cream too.  Sometimes the have them at Costco on sale.

2. Kitchen Aid Pasta Attachments. There are a couple to choose from. One is simply a pasta roller that squishes and flattens the pasta dough. It comes with an attachment that cuts the dough either into flat, fettuccine-like noodles and spaghetti and then there is a different one that makes spaghetti and other shapes.

3. Metal Detectors.  Ever since I was just a wee lad I have had a fascination with these things.  Never have I owned such a powerful tool that could detect metals, potential valuable thingy-ma-bobs, with simply a wave of a magic device.  Its basically a dude version of a magic wand. "Oh look here, I just found a gold watch." I want one. BAD.

Monday, May 21, 2012

The Epic Tale of Manventure

It was decided that in the spirit of Survivor Man and Man vs Wild, me and a couple buddies would go off on an adventure into the wilderness. We traveled with very little, just a back pack.

We did a little research and found an area up American Fork Canyon that would be suitable for our trip.  The deal was that we wouldn't take any food or shelter with us.  We would fish, hunt, build a refuge for ourselves.

And so It began.  We found a place to park and started up a trail. Then we left that trail and wandered into the wild.  We had a good idea of where we were going...or at least were we needed to be. Through some seriously rough terrain we scaled the mountain side.  Legs getting scratched, losing our footing, braking branches, we climbed.  It was very frontiersman of us. After over an hour of hiking we came to our first lake.

Deciding this was a good place to set up camp we searched for a place to build a man shelter.  Upon finding a suitable place,

we began construction.

And did a pretty awesome job. 

We built the shelter and set up camp.  Shortly after we headed back to the lake to see if we could catch some dinner.  After a couple of hours and the sun beginning to fade we had caught 6 small fish.  It would have to do.  We built a fire with flint and tried to figure out a way to cook the fish with out pans or utensils of any kind. (We left them at home, remember?)

We butchered the first fish but got the knack of it and ate.  We settled in for what would be, for me at least, a rough night of little to no sleep.  The ground is not comfortable, especially for side sleepers like me.  I tossed and turned and it was terrible. 

Once daylight came we decided to pack up and head up a few miles to the next lake.  No of us knew how hard it was going to be...especially me. On an empty stomach, little rest, and 8000 feet up I found about that my body wasn't prepared for the hike.  *Foreshadowing*

At the beginning of the trail, things were fine.  It was gorgeous.

We followed pretty close to the river.  The vertical increased and we went higher and higher, steeper.  As we were about 2/3 of the way there I could feel my body wearing out.  Kyle went ahead while Taylor and I lagged back.  Then Taylor went ahead and I lagged back. I was struggling more than I thought.  I took several long breaks to try and catch my breath and let my heart catch up to my feet.  At this point, my mind was fighting my body just as hard as my body was fighting itself.  I was only a few hundred yards from the summit but I couldn't go.  It was still early in the day and I figured that if I could just rest for a bit I would make it.

My body had BONKED. I leaned on a rock, wiped out physically and mentally.  I could lift a foot. I closed my eyes and waited, hoped my body would recuperate so I could reach the top.  About 10-15 minutes into my resting, I opened my eyes and saw a ground squirrel.  The only thing I could think of was, "We need to eat that."

I pulled out my gun, cocked it back and click. nothing. Dud bullet.
Ejected that bullet and got the next one in the chamber pulled the trigger and click. NOTHING! Another dud!
At this point I'm hoping the little bugger sits around for a 10 more second while I try for a 3rd time. Click. BOOM! HIT! Its squirming around and get up to it, writhing in wiggling almost falling off the cliff.  I pull out my knife and I stabbed it in the throat.

Meanwhile Kyle and Taylor had been up top scouting the area looking for shelter, fishing the lake and seeing how viable the new spot would be.  They heard the shot and figured it was a "come rescue me" shot.  I see them at the top of the ridge and I have the squirrel in my hand and I yell, "I killed this!"

They replied with, "There aren't any fish in this lake."  There wasn't a good place to build a shelter either.  At 8800 feet up the trees were scarce and the lake was simply just made of mountain snow run off.

With that news we decided we should head back to our old camp site and regroup.  But first I was still delirious and unable to function properly.  The kill had made things brighten up but I was down for the count.  Suddenly I remembered that Kyle said he had a baggie of trail mix. SALVATION!

We were all pretty worn out and destitute at this point.  We each ate a couple handfuls of trail mix which tasted glorious!  I drank some water, got my wits about me and we started down the trail we had just hiked up.
The way down was much more enjoyable.  Once we got back to the lake I had to skin and gut the squirrel.  This was a first.  I smelled awful. Flies came almost immediately.  How did they know and where did they come for so quickly!  By the time I was done, this is what we were dealing with.

 We started another fire and cooked this little thing.

There was nothing delicious or filling about that little bit of squirrel but when it was all said and done, we needed the nourishment it provided. We went back to the lake when we finished our afternoon naps.  Fish were jumping but they wanted nothing to do with anything we were throwing in the water.  It was super frustrating for us since we didn't have too much trouble the day before catching fish.  Tonight though, we were shut out.  It got dark and we went to bed pretty quickly.

The next morning we packed up our gear and decided to head out. We followed a trail that looked like it would get us back to where we needed to be.  It didn't.  We had to back track up a dirt road to another trail that took us to the right place.

 The after effects were mainly scratched legs and arms.  It was a fun and trying experience.