This Girl!

I'm driving myself crazy over this girl. I literally dream about her...more than I should really.  I don't have her number. I don't know where she lives.  Rarely do our paths cross. I know enough to know that she is all I want to know about.

• She is stylish.  
• She is smart. 
• She is funny.  
• She is her own person.  
• She owns who she is.  
• She is gorgeous.  
• She has this face.

The main problem is that she hasn't spent a half a second losing sleep over me.  She doesn't dream about me or think about me.  She doesn't know me.  She hasn't bothered to and I don't think she ever will no matter what I do.

That makes me sad.

You know, you build someone up to a point where the idea of who they are is almost always better than they really are.  I am 100% sure I am doing that.  I know there are problems, issues, realities that I simply don't know and am not aware of.  I get that.  But through the rose colored glasses that I see her, she is something else. 

DINNER

That is the name of my imaginary restaurant.

Concept:

• One big table that would seat about 20 people.  
• Family style seating.  
• There would be up to 2 seating times per night. 
• Fixed menu each night and would include 3 courses. 
• Reserve seats in advance for the dinner you feel like eating. 

The Menu:  I have worked on a few dishes that I would feel comfortable scaling and doing in larger quantities.  I want to be able to provide a variety of meals that range from family friendly to selective up-scale dishes.  Each night would be priced differently but a flat fee.  Some would be an all you can eat style some would be served 'as is.'

• Herb Crusted Pork Tenderloin on Rosemary Polenta topped with a sweet raspberry sauce. 
• Pan Fried Balsamic Lemon Peel Chicken with risotto. 
• New York Strip with whipped potatoes and roasted asparagus.
• Homemade Lasagna of freshly made pasta and red sauce. Fresh baguettes.
• Macadamia crusted Ahi with a mango salsa.
• Breakfast at DINNER! Eggs, bacon, sausage, pancakes, french toast, grits, hash browns.
• Grilled TeryiakiPork Tenderloin on coconut rice and grilled pineapple, sauteed leeks.
• Roasted Sage Chicken with scalloped potatoes and green beans. 

I would bake fresh breads and make my own dressings and desserts. Or I could open dessert up to a local sweets maker and have them sponsor it. Coupons, gift bags, etc.  

I also thought it would be fun to sell the leftovers for people that wanted to take what was left home.  Waste not.  I also wanted to make some cookies each night to send home with each party. A little something to remember me by.  Or maybe the Reeve hand dipped cherries and mints.

Anyone have any thoughts?

What a Long, Strange Trip It's Been

I'm gonna start this post with a title that young people won't get.  That is sort of the point of this post.   BTW - It is a Grateful Dead song. Go use the internet to figure it out.

I've had a rough week emotionally. My age, even though I feel youthful and young, apparently is something that is becoming quite obvious to younger (than me) people.  It is troubling because I don't feel like these people should be labeling me as "old."

My problem is, while I am ONLY 33, it obviously looks different from some younger eyes.  What these people don't know is that I don't FEEL 33, I don't act 33, and I don't like being 33.  I liked 23 much better.  I still feel 23, a bit wiser for sure but I am still a carefree, fun-loving fool.  Maybe I am just scared to embrace it.  I mean, I listen to talk radio...I don't know how that happened but I guess my age is showing in more ways than one.

Here are the things I remember that have scarred me in the past few days.

1) I subbed and taught some 9 year olds in Sunday School.  They kept telling me I was old.  I had to explain that I was still younger than their parents. (thankfully)

2) A girl I work with told me I reminded her of Phillip Seymour Hoffman from Along Came Polly.  FML.

3) Tonight at Karaoke some kid brought a guitar and asked if he could sing a song about transforming into an Indian. (feather) The DJ told him no but he could sing. I was right there and said that he should sing a song from The Doors. Jim Morrison seemed to have a thing for them. It went like this.
Kid: You mean 3 Doors Down?
Me: No The DOORS, Jim Morrison? Light My Fire? The End?
Kid: I don't know who that is.
Me:Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, really?
I didn't know if I should punch him or myself or just beat him with his won guitar.

4) Separate event at Karaoke. 4 girls probably 18ish, I'll go +/- 1 year, are at the DJ booth trying to pick a song.  I ask one of the girls, "What song are you going to sing?"  She looks at me and says, "Sir?"  Time out. WTF?  Did I just get Sir'ed? So I ma'am'ed her back and she just got more confused.

5) Some girl on Twitter said (to someone else, not me) "it is no wonder you are 25 and single." F. I'm 33 and single.

6) A couple of days ago I was trimming my facial scruff and I noticed for the first time in my life I had 3-4 gray whiskers.  I freaked out a little inside. I wasn't expecting that...for about 15 more years.

In the midst of all this, for the past few weeks I am using this app called Tinder.  The fact that you have to look it up or don't know what it is should be reason enough...  Basically you look at a profile and like them or pass.  If a person you like also likes you, you are notified of a mutual interest.  This is what I hear happens because in the few weeks I have used it, I have liked PLENTY of girls on there in all age ranges, I have yet to have a match. I am a little embarrassed to admit to it but whatever.

So there you have it.  I'm gonna go make some references about the 80's since none of them were born yet.

Les Miserables: The Breakdown

As I watched the movie for a second time tonight, I realized that probably the biggest reason I love the story so much is because I can relate to each of the main characters so easily.  I see their plight and I am moved. (It helps that the accompanying musical arrangements are so moving.)  Music goes a long way to make the story more meaningful, at least to me.

Valjean:  I think for the most part I am a good, caring person but at the same time I am not perfect; there are things I have done that I would wish to escape from.  You run from the past, creating new opportunities.  You struggle to make the right decisions as life comes at you.

Fantine: I have hit some hard times.  You do what you can to scrape by.  You feel slighted and people have done me wrong in my mind.  Maybe it was "just business" or a by-product of an uncontrollable bad situation but it still messed up life.  You pay your debts as best you can and hope that is enough.  Sometimes people come to bail you out.

Javert: Do we not all feel a sense of duty?  Haven't we all been so blinded by that "duty" or by taking that hardline approach that we aren't able to see what is fair and reasonable past what is "right?" His unceasing discipline to law and justice are admirable and sometimes in life that is all we want for people.  I hope they get what is coming to them.

Cosette: Dreamy, aloof, blindly optimistic even though you know you are being kept in the dark.  Suddenly you see the light and your focus becomes clear.  There is meaning.

Marius: Oh my have there been times where I was struck to the bone in a moment of breathless delight!  I have felt that longing, the angst that comes from loving someone and only want the best for them and to be with them.

Eponine: It always seems like On My Own is a theme.  Unrequited love.  Never getting back what you put out.  Never the bride, just the dude facilitator for others to find their happiness. That hurt of not being loved the way you wish you could be loved.

I have spent a little time as each one of them during my life.  I have felt their pains and struggles.  I have walked in their shoes...or bare feet as it were in some cases.  I love the musical so much. The story is magical, emotional, meaningful.

Thanks French Revolution and Victor Hugo!