Thursday, January 06, 2005

How To Love?

This isn’t a relationship blog.
In relationships today there is an inherent problem, love. Couples get involved with each other and “fall in love.” Cool. I’m not bashing love. I want to talk about people’s propensity to love and propensity to be loved.
There are several ways to love someone. Forgive me if I miss one. 1. Physically 2. With gifts 3. With time 4. With service 5. With words.
In relationships, especially with ones dealing with love we must be careful, we must understand what our partner needs. You see, some people need to be loved in certain ways. Some like to be showered with gifts, others like to be told that they are loved.
The key to a successful relationship where love is needing to be addressed is; how does my partner need to be loved? How do they respond to love? Do they need gifts; do they need the physical touch, or my physical presence to know they are loved? How do they need to be loved?
Once we know what our partner wants we must also know what we want. How do I need to be loved? Once you know, you need to communicate that to your partner. This is one of my love recipes. I figure this would save a lot of people a lot of turmoil, a lot of tears.
You see the problem with love is that not everyone responds to it in the same way. Let’s say a guy, Jack, loves a girl, Jill. Jack wants Jill to know he loves her so he buys her gifts. All kinds of gifts. What if Jill just needs to be told that she is loved? All of Jacks gifts, while nice gestures, are in vain. Jill is not getting the point. Now there is tension between them. Jill doesn’t know if Jack loves her and Jack doesn’t know why Jill doesn’t appreciate his gifts.
I see this type of thing happening all the time. So my advice, not that I am qualified to speak on such a topic, is know how to love and know how you need to be loved.

1 comment:

Brittany Jonn said...

Interesting. Very interesting.

Just got out of a relationship where I thought there was love. Want to know how he wanted to be loved? Ok, I will tell you.

This guy needed reassurance all the time. He needed me there all the time. He wanted cards and poems confessing my undying love for him all the time. He sucked up all my happiness and made me a bitter person just because we started saying "I love you!"

I do not object to falling in love, however, that was my first time, and it was not a very good example of it. Needless to say, I am now scared shitless of the thought of that eaking ehh.

Nice start on your blog! :)