Monday, October 05, 2009

Dusk and Summer

This song (probably playing or on my playlist) holds a bit of nostalgia for me. I wrote a poem called Down By the Shore because of this song. When I hear it I am taken to several different moments in my life. A concert or two where Chris Carrabba, of Dashboard Confessional, had everyone hold their cell phones in the air to represent the stars that were out when he was writing this song on his rooftop overlooking the ocean in South Florida.

The first and most powerful memory that enters my mind is being at the beach below the Carmel House. It was a moment of bitter sweetness now. While it was one of the best weekends of my life, though too short, now it represents all the things I want and wish I had in my life.

I spent this weekend with the only girl I have ever said "I Love You" to. And I meant it with all my soul when I said it. At this point, I hadn't yet emoted to her that this was the case but I felt it and I knew it was real. I finally had something worth losing. These were good feelings and I cherish them.

Eventually things transpired and our relationship didn't last. But this song, in its beauty, will remind me of that weekend where I spent it with the only girl I have loved. And though it didn't work out I have a hope that there will come a time when I can feel those emotions and hear these words and I won't think of her anymore but of the new love I have found. I know what I am looking for. And I know I am waiting for something new, something that will be more than a weekend. I don't know who she is or where she is but she's, to cop a line from An American Tale, somewhere out there.


Dallas and Krista said...

Crying. I'm crying now. Love. I love you.

Anonymous said...

I love you too. Now you know how I feel when I read about the love you have for your I guess we are even now.